


trouble is my business

by SadieFlood



Category: Castle
Genre: Alternate Universe, Detective Noir, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 02:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12289290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieFlood/pseuds/SadieFlood
Summary: Hayley Shipton, private investigator, is looking for a partner for one night.  Richard Castle would be perfect for the job.  Too bad he's retired.





	trouble is my business

**Author's Note:**

  * For [provincial-girl (MykaWells)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MykaWells/gifts).



The woman sitting behind the desk was going to be a problem for at least two reasons. One, she was a prim little redhead whose stiff posture and steely gaze were no match for the almost imperceptible quiver in her voice when she said, “Hayley Shipton, I presume?”

Two, Hayley was looking for a man.

“This _is_ Castle Investigations, isn't it?” Hayley almost never asked a question if she didn't already know the answer.

“Yes,” the woman said in a tight voice. 

“But you're not Richard Castle.”

“You've got a keen eye for detail. Maybe you should go into the business.” Her lips curved into a smile. “ _Alexis_ Castle. My father's retired. I'm not. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Unfortunately,” Hayley said, “I think it is.”

“Tell me what you're looking for. You might be surprised.”

Hayley considered walking out the door. Instead she said, “I need a husband for one night.”

The blush that crept up _Alexis_ Castle's neck was worth the price of admission and then some. 

“So, I don't think this is going to work. Best of luck to you, though.”

She turned to leave. Before she made it to the door, Alexis said, “Perhaps you should consider an alternative approach to... whatever it is you're doing.”

Hayley paused. “And I suppose you would be my alternative?”

"Does it have to be a husband?”

She almost laughed. “How old are you?” Too young for this business, Hayley was fairly certain.

Alexis looked mildly affronted. “A lady never tells.”

“I'm afraid that's exactly why it wouldn't work. Here's a free tip from me to you: No private eye worth her salt would ever call herself a lady. Good luck, Miss Castle.”

*

“I'll have you know that I am worth _plenty_ of salt,” said a voice from outside the car as she turned the key in the ignition.

“Excuse me?” Hayley rolled down the window.

“I may not be a man, but that doesn't mean I'm not the man for the job,” she said.

“Did you practice that little speech all the way downstairs?”

“My hourly rate is on the back of my business card,” she said, holding one out for Hayley to take. “I will require a retainer, of course. But I won't charge extra for helping you come up with a different plan on account of my inconvenient gender. What do you say?”

To her own surprise, Hayley considered it. “I suppose you could be my Irish lady's maid.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I'll pay you a flat fee upon completion, rate contingent on performance. I get paid, you get paid. Deal?” It was clear that Alexis could use the business, but she made a show of thinking about Hayley's offer.

Hayley waited.

“All right,” Alexis said. “Where and when? Also, who? And why?”

“You'd better get in.” 

*

“As it happens,” Hayley said, keeping her eyes on the road, “I _am_ in the business. I've probably been at it as long as you've been alive.”

“So have I,” Alexis said. “But go on.”

“There's a missing girl. I've got a lead, but I need a partner.”

“Not a husband?”

“My guy's an insurance salesman who's made a tidy living bilking lonely housewives on the side.”

“So you'd be the lonely housewife,” she said. “And your partner would search the place while you distracted him. My dad would have loved that. He might have come out of retirement for this one.”

Hayley raised an eyebrow. “Aren't you supposed to be coming up with a different plan, on account of your _very_ inconvenient gender?” 

“Bilking and killing are two very different things,” Alexis pointed out.

“They are, or were, having an affair,” she said. “Or at least her boyfriend is convinced they are, or were. He's the one who hired me.”

“So, what, she found out about his side business and she was going to blackmail him? Or did she threaten to rat him out to his wife?”

“Better start thinking of that plan. We'll be at his office in about three minutes.”

*

Hayley wouldn't walk into a situation like this without at least three backup plans. She just imagined that it would be amusing to see what Alexis would propose. 

“Scratch the maid business,” Alexis said authoritatively. “ _I'll_ be your irritating busybody friend who horned in on this meeting and knows too much about insurance. I'll distract him with questions about the supposed policy while you look for evidence.”

“That's not bad, Miss Castle,” Hayley said. “I guess we can give it a shot.”

“I'm prepared for that circumstance as well,” Alexis said, patting her handbag.

“Let's call that a last resort.”

*

Alexis was halfway through her impromptu interrogation of the suspect—she really _did_ know too much about insurance—when the first shot rang out.

The salesman sprang to his feet and dashed out of the office, with Alexis hot on his heels and reaching for her handbag.

They rounded the corner into the waiting room. Hayley had a well-coiffed blonde in a headlock. “Susan?” The salesman's mouth fell open. “You—let my wife go!”

“I'm afraid I can't do that,” Hayley said. “For one thing, she shot at me. For another, I'm fairly certain she's kidnapped or murdered a girl named Daisy Adler, likely because of your affair.”

“Who's Daisy Adler?” The man looked genuinely mystified.

“Your lover,” Alexis said. “Or do you have a hard time keeping track of them?”

“I promise you, I've never known anyone by that name.”

Hayley had a sick feeling he was telling the truth.

Susan took advantage of the distraction and wrested herself from Hayley's grasp. She raised her revolver again and aimed it squarely at Hayley's head this time. “I don't know who you are, but you've painted a pretty picture. I think I'll use it.”

“Susan?” the salesman repeated.

“Daisy was a sweet girl who couldn't keep her mouth shut," she said. "Couldn't resist the promise of a payday. Well, none of us can, I suppose.”

“ _You_ were the lover," Alexis breathed.

"And she was going to rat you out if you didn't pay up,” Hayley said slowly. “I imagine killing her was a last resort.”

“It was not my intention,” Susan admitted. “Crime of passion.”

At that, her husband lunged forward.

Alexis fired a warning shot. “You,” she said to the salesman, “please sit down and don't cause any trouble. You,” she said to Susan, “please hand Miss Shipton your gun and allow her to call the police.”

To Hayley's surprise, they both complied. She found the telephone and began to dial.

Alexis flashed her a smile. “Flies prefer honey, I'm told.”

“Really? Did you practice that one, too?”

She shrugged. “It's been a slow week.”

*

“I get paid, you get paid,” Hayley said over the phone. “Now, I can bring the money to your sad little office, or you can meet me at the 21 Club right now for a celebratory cocktail and a check.”

“So you're offering to pay me, then you invite me to spend my meager paycheck on cocktails. Are you trying to get me to ask you for more work?”

“Only one way to find out,” Hayley said, and hung up on her.

When Alexis arrived, she was dressed to the nines; the prim lady detective was nowhere to be found. 

“You clean up nicely,” Hayley said, handing over the check and ordering another round; Alexis's first, her third. “Maybe you can snare yourself a husband tonight. Plenty of eligible men around these parts, many of whom can't seem to keep their eyes off you.”

Alexis made a show of glancing around the room. When her gaze landed on Hayley, she said, "Does it have to be a husband?”

“You could consider an alternative approach,” Hayley said carefully.

She sipped her drink. “And I suppose you would be my alternative?” 

She appeared to be serious.

Oh, this was a bad idea.

Hayley leaned forward and said in a low voice, “I see where you're going with this, and I can't say I'm not intrigued, but if we're going to work together--”

Alexis held up a hand. “First of all, who said we were going to work together?”

“I thought we made a good team,” she said, mildly offended. “And I could use a partner who's not an alcoholic 45-year-old man like practically everyone else in this godforsaken business.”

“Secondly, even if we were to partner up professionally, it's not as if there's a policy that would prevent us from—well, considering alternatives.” 

Hayley sighed. “It's dangerous.” She didn't elaborate.

“Can I tell you something?” Alexis beckoned for Hayley to come closer. “Danger is my middle name,” she whispered in Hayley's ear.

“And that's why you're coming to work with me,” Hayley said, trying to keep her composure. “You need a little less free time to come up with retorts in advance.”

“I was actually winging it that time,” she said.

Hayley downed drink number four and checked her watch. “I think it's time to call it a night. I'll pay for the drinks.”

“All right,” she said. “Guess I'll head back to my sad little office and finish some paperwork.”

“In that dress?” Hayley shook her head. 

“Well, do you have another idea?” She looked at Hayley expectantly. 

Hayley left some bills on the bar and stood up to leave. “Here's another free tip, Miss Castle: don't ask a question if you don't already know the answer.”

She grinned. “I almost never do.”

Alexis's mischievous expression only confirmed what Hayley had known since the moment she first laid eyes on her. 

This woman was definitely going to be a problem.

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from a collection of Raymond Chandler short stories.


End file.
